Article by Jason Crawford
10 Tips to Get Your Ex Back – Relationships
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Chances are if you are reading this item series, you are on the wrong end of a parting of the ways. Most likely the interrelationship ended before you were ready to let go. No matter which side of the breakup you are on, separation is never easy. Following a separation it’s not uncommon to have separation anxiety and wish that things could go back to how they once were.Getting your ex back is a slippery slope and is not always prosperous. It’s no wonder that the term get my ex back, get back with my ex, how to get my ex back, or any similar combination are searched on Google? over one million times a month. That’s a lot of people searching for answers on how to win back the attachment of their life. The dejecting reality is that most of these searches will produce results filled with gimmicks, tricks, and mind games that at best will temporarily attract the attention of the love you are trying to gain.For a more lasting result and one that will have your ex once again falling over themselves to be with you – you should look no further than yourself for the answers. It is extremely important to understand that attraction is not a choice! I’ll say it again. Attraction is not a choice. Although there are numerous of factors that affect draw, the one thing that is certain is that attraction it is an emotion and not a decision.So what does that mean?Since we should all agree that attraction is not a choice and that it is an emotion which is felt, we should then look at what makes someone attractive to the opposite sex. Without a doubt, the single most attractive trait in the opposite sex whether its attraction to a man or a woman is belief in oneself. So, how does one develop confidence? I’m glad you asked as that is a very good question, but one that is not asked very often.Certainty is developed when you become connected with who you are. Let me explain. Have you ever run across someone who was not the best looking person, but still had an extremely attractive way about them? That’s confidence. When someone is so comfortable in their own skin and connected with who they are, the traditional things society labels as attractive are thrown out the window. It is as if they somehow defy the laws of attraction.So let’s apply this to your situation. The fact that you are on the wrong side of a dissolution is most likely due to the fact that your significant other no longer feels a sense of attraction towards you. I know this sounds harsh and there are most likely a hundred reasons why you feel the relationship fell apart. However, if you look hard enough, you will find that the core of the issue usually revolves around attraction.Since confidence is found by those who are comfortable with themselves and confidence equals attraction, and your goal is to re-attract your ex. Then the answer can be found in you reconnecting with yourself and once again becoming comfortable with who you are. It is through this process that your ex will see you in a new light. But here’s the best part. By the time you evolve to this level of confidence, you may find that you are no longer apathetic in your ex as you may have opened up a world of new potential.However, first thing is first. The starting point on this journey is to create separation between you and your ex. The first 30 days are the most critical and usually the most painful. During these first 30 days, you will need to eliminate old patterns and behaviors that keep you banded together to your ex as you start to develop your own sense of self-sufficiency.These 10 tips to get your ex back focus on what many refer to as the no contact rule. The first month or two following a separation is most often filled with decisions, choices, and words spoken that destroy any hope of your ex once again finding you attractive. So now is the time to save the pity party and do what you came here to do. Your goal here is to if possible all communication and connections with your ex. If you are in a situation where this is unachievable, you will want to severely limit communication to pertinent items only such as children, bills, business, etc.The no communication phase:(1). Don’t contact them for any reason whatsoever: I don’t think I need to say much more about this one. No matter how sad or lonely you are feeling you cannot contact them out of emotional reasons. As mentioned prior, if you have business to tend to, handle your business with them and be done. You should not show any level of emotion.(2). Don’t call them: Enough said on this point.(3). Don’t text them: All of the rules mentioned above apply to text. Especially to text. This includes the ever popular late nights text after a few drinks when you are feeling most emotional.(4). Don’t email them: Email is the silent enemy during this period of no communication. It is way too easy to draft a quick email and send it off without thinking about the overall consequences of your forever printed words.(5). Don’t instant message them: Instant messenger is just as bad as email, so in order to eliminate any sort of temptation you should delete them from your IM list as to avoid the instant gratification of communicating with your ex. Don’t worry, you won’t lose contact. If they really want to get hold of you, they still have your number.(6). Don’t send them a letter: Does anyone really send letters anymore? Skip this one.(7). Remove all social media footprints: It would be wise to eliminate any and all social media footprints or connections with your ex. The last thing you need during this phase of the breakup is to read a tweet about them out on a date, or see a picture of them doing body shots off of a bartender. Eliminate the temptation and go dark on the social media.(8). Remove all pictures of them for easy access: Get rid of all their pictures. This includes hard copies as well as those pictures you have stored in your phone. You don’t need the constant reminder. Don’t worry this is only temporary. You can back everything up and leave them with someone you trust you’re a viewing later on when you are more confident.(9). Delete all old text messages: The same principle applies to text messages as to digital pictures. Delete them, or back them up and then delete them, but you need to get them out of your sight. Besides, what are you saving all those old text for anyway? When everything works out the way you plan, you will soon begin receiving new ones.(10). Change their name in your cell phone: The final step in this phase is to remove your ex’s contact picture and change the name in your phone. This simple step is extremely powerful. When I was going through my break-up with my ex. I changed her name from Cassandra to NEVER AGAIN. Every time she would call or text, I was reminded of the path I was on, and that I needed to avoid returning to dysfunction at all cost.As time went on and I passed the initial 30 days and had endorsed new habits, I changed her name to THE DEVIL. Now, every time she would call or text, I was reminded that being with her I was living in my own personal hell. These simple reminders set the tone and correct my thoughts.
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Jason Crawford
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